A retired professor starts anew when, in three hours, he finds a high school yearbook, a scooter and a handgun.
A working girl gets fed up with a series of johns who asked to be peed on.
A man uses entirely too many euphamisms.
A once popular actress Googles herself until her head explodes.
A quiet, friendly bus driver discovers that he has a fetish for pregnant women.
A lifelong Los Angeles Lakers fan becomes overcome with guilt and insanity after he murders his best friend for his season tickets.
A group of a pre-teens take part in a series of high stakes, county-wide spelling bees.
A struggling space traveling performance artist spends his last days on earth reciting William Faulkner into a camera.
A group of hunters discover why it isn’t funny to make fun of the mentally handicapped.
Billy Bob Thornton, Gary Sinise
A hopeless romantic discovers that the way to his heart is literally through his stomach.
A high profile reporter learns to deal with shame after she accidentally publishes her sexting escapades with her daughter’s third grade teacher on Twitter.
A Woman’s Studies professor who has lost patience with her profession decides to lock her students in the classroom until they become willing to murder for their cause.
A man struggles to conceal the fact that his clinical depression gives him super powers.
A parking valet in Los Angeles takes LSD on the job.
A nurse who suffers from crippling Obsessive Compulsive Disorder finds a friend in the form of a talking vibrator.
A seemingly passive technical blogger gets outed as a vengeful hate monger after his mother stumbles across a YouTube channel filled with his angry and borderline racist monologues.
A once famous insult comic gets a job wrapping presents at Macy’s during the holiday season.
An aging prostitute decides to lower her rates.
A burgeoning singer-songwriter discovers she’s every bit as vapid as the critics say she is when a bout with writer’s block prevents her from using any of her past relationships as inspiration.
(ed. note: this is the 50th post on Option This Movie, which is a milestone!)
A homosexual teenager manages to meet Jesus Christ during the second coming, sparking a torrid love affair.
Justin Bieber, Blair Underwood
A villified ex-politician attempts to get his ideas out to the world by asking his mentally handicapped yet beautiful house maid to run for Senate on his platforms.
Lady Gaga, Richard Dreyfuss
A man who becomes enraged after his favorite musician turns to electronica begins hunting and murdering every musician in his record collection alphabetically.
A 34-year-old college senior realizes he’s spent his entire adult life as an extra on Saved By the Bell: The College Years.
Some wet blanket finally learns how to read.
An emotionally unavailable woman stares blankly into the void.
Three ex-cons and an astrophysicist must race against time in order to stop a mutual friend from calling off a wedding that would result in the world turning into a beautiful utopia.
Sandra Berhnard, Vin Diesel
A young graduate student refuses to admit that her voice is the reason her friends have started to kill themselves.
A group of small town rednecks, inspired by gangster films, try to pointlessly take over a small village in Vancouver.
Dan Aykroyd, Rick Moranis
The head of a major oil corporation accidentally sends out an email to her entire company that explains her frigidity in detail.
A highly successful model drunkenly poors battery acid on her face after her boyfriend breaks up with her.
Three women enter a swingers party but only one will make it out alive.
Sarah Jessica Parker
The owner of a no kill animal shelter nearly bankrupts his business when he discovers he has developed a taste for dog meat.
A ruthless New Jersey bookie returns from a family vacation to find that the horse jockey he recently bet against has kidnapped his mother.
A retired history professor joins Al-Qaeda in a last ditch effort to murder his Muslim wife for the insurance money.
A group of conservative pundits discover the wonders of roofies during a cross-country road trip to the 2008 Republican primary in California.
A homeless woman literally stuffs her sorrys in a sack.
A middle-aged carpenter begins to take an unhealthy amount of pride in his counter top installations.
Inspired by a submission from Cody Finkner
Two horribly disfigured mental patients re-enact the action film Face/Off during a county wide talent show, much to the chagrin of their strict as nails nurse.
Jerry Van Dyke, Billy Bob Thornton
Inspired by a submission from Aidan Collins
A single mother learns how to train pigeons to do her dirty work.
Julia Louis Dreyfus
A strong willed New York transsexual accidentally gets sold into slavery in China.
A sanitation worker in North Carolina is ordered to take ballet lessons as part of his anger management.
A selfish playboy who discovers he has AIDS must track down all of his flings and break the news.
A bored billionaire with a cannibalism fetish coerces people onto an island where the only food is soy-based meat substitutes.
David Hyde Pierce
A delusional teen kidnaps Max Weinberg in a desperate attempt to convince his grandfather that he’s the real Bruce Springsteen.
Twin brothers Jack and Gerald have a falling out when Jack murders his girlfriend and blames it on his brother.
Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson
A convicted rapist, fresh from being released from prison, quickly becomes addicted to speed dating.
Craig T. Nelson
A down on his luck, used-rock-dealing caveman tries to make good by selling his primitive ‘inventions’.
Robin Williams, Gerard Butler
After attending a midnight showing of his 80’s cult classic film Mannequin, actor Andrew McCarthy discovers — to his horror — that his body is slowly changing into plastic.
A bumbling Irish folklorist attempts to map out his family tree by using hundreds of letters written by his grandfather that deal solely with his love for cardboard boxes.
A first year women’s soft ball coach succumbs to the killer inside her after she learns that her ace pitcher has failed her SATs.